In an episode of Law and Order from last winter, there is a boy who isn't normal mentally. The police in private call him retarded. His father calls him slow, and his mother says "Wake up, darling, he is *developmentally delayed*." She says this with scorn and passion, like it is so much worse than slow, Actually, it's almost the same as slow. How come she doesn't notice that?
It is the same or almost the same as retarded, and none are really accurate or complete in this case, because he's not merely delayed or progressing at a slow speed (slow, retarded), he's stopped.
Ahd the mother says "develpmentally delayed" like it's a mean vulgar phrase, when iiuc it is intended to be the nice phrase.
Amazing how people relate to words. -- Posters should say where they live, and for which area they are asking questions. I have lived in Western Pa. 10 years Indianapolis 10 years Chicago 6 years Brooklyn, NY 12 years Baltimore 26 years
mm wrote: > In an episode of Law and Order from last winter, there is a boy who > isn't normal mentally. The police in private call him retarded. His > father calls him slow, and his mother says "Wake up, darling, he is > *developmentally delayed*." She says this with scorn and passion, > like it is so much worse than slow, Actually, it's almost the same > as slow. How come she doesn't notice that?
Ask the writer.
> It is the same or almost the same as retarded, and none are really > accurate or complete in this case, because he's not merely delayed or > progressing at a slow speed (slow, retarded), he's stopped.
> Ahd the mother says "develpmentally delayed" like it's a mean vulgar > phrase, when iiuc it is intended to be the nice phrase.
It is a euphemism, designed to avoid offense or embarrassment. The character may be been reacting to the gravity of the condition or annoyance of the pretense of the euphemism.
Euphemisms often go out of vogue after people ignore the literal meanings of the phrase and simply associate it with the common usage. "Mentally retarded person" was probably an earlier euphemism ("mentally" is now often implied -- not said).
By itself "slow development" implies to me that a normal state would be reached, only at later time than normal. I doubt this is the case in which "retarded" or "developmentally delayed" is normally used.
> In an episode of Law and Order from last winter, there is a boy who > isn't normal mentally. The police in private call him retarded. His > father calls him slow, and his mother says "Wake up, darling, he is > *developmentally delayed*." She says this with scorn and passion, > like it is so much worse than slow, Actually, it's almost the same > as slow. How come she doesn't notice that?
> It is the same or almost the same as retarded, and none are really > accurate or complete in this case, because he's not merely delayed or > progressing at a slow speed (slow, retarded), he's stopped.
> Ahd the mother says "develpmentally delayed" like it's a mean vulgar > phrase, when iiuc it is intended to be the nice phrase.
>"mm" <NOPSAMmm2...@bigfoot.com> wrote in message >news:4feic55gf8rvbmbc6u9m7a56pfipbqdj7t@4ax.com... >> In an episode of Law and Order from last winter, there is a boy who >> isn't normal mentally. The police in private call him retarded. His >> father calls him slow, and his mother says "Wake up, darling, he is >> *developmentally delayed*." She says this with scorn and passion, >> like it is so much worse than slow, Actually, it's almost the same >> as slow. How come she doesn't notice that?
>> It is the same or almost the same as retarded, and none are really >> accurate or complete in this case, because he's not merely delayed or >> progressing at a slow speed (slow, retarded), he's stopped.
>> Ahd the mother says "develpmentally delayed" like it's a mean vulgar >> phrase, when iiuc it is intended to be the nice phrase.
>> Amazing how people relate to words.
> Delays can be overcome while slow is forever.
You're right. So slow is even worse, but the wife thought "developmentally delayed" was worse.
I know it's fiction but I think that means the script writer though thatt.
-- Posters should say where they live, and for which area they are asking questions. I have lived in Western Pa. 10 years Indianapolis 10 years Chicago 6 years Brooklyn, NY 12 years Baltimore 26 years
> In an episode of Law and Order from last winter, there is a boy who > isn't normal mentally. The police in private call him retarded. His > father calls him slow, and his mother says "Wake up, darling, he is > *developmentally delayed*." She says this with scorn and passion, > like it is so much worse than slow, Actually, it's almost the same > as slow. How come she doesn't notice that?
> It is the same or almost the same as retarded, and none are really > accurate or complete in this case, because he's not merely delayed or > progressing at a slow speed (slow, retarded), he's stopped.
> Ahd the mother says "develpmentally delayed" like it's a mean vulgar > phrase, when iiuc it is intended to be the nice phrase.
> Amazing how people relate to words.
I'm not familiar with Law and Order but is the mother sneering at the "political correctness" of "developmentally delayed"?
-- Which of the seven heavens / Was responsible her smile / Wouldn't be sure but attested / That, whoever it was, a god / Worth kneeling-to for a while / Had tabernacled and rested.
> On Sun, 4 Oct 2009 23:13:31 -0400, "Ray O'Hara" > <raymond-oh...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >"mm" <NOPSAMmm2...@bigfoot.com> wrote in message > >news:4feic55gf8rvbmbc6u9m7a56pfipbqdj7t@4ax.com... > >> In an episode of Law and Order from last winter, there is a boy who > >> isn't normal mentally. The police in private call him retarded. His > >> father calls him slow, and his mother says "Wake up, darling, he is > >> *developmentally delayed*." She says this with scorn and passion, > >> like it is so much worse than slow, Actually, it's almost the same > >> as slow. How come she doesn't notice that?
> >> It is the same or almost the same as retarded, and none are really > >> accurate or complete in this case, because he's not merely delayed or > >> progressing at a slow speed (slow, retarded), he's stopped.
> >> Ahd the mother says "develpmentally delayed" like it's a mean vulgar > >> phrase, when iiuc it is intended to be the nice phrase.
> >> Amazing how people relate to words.
> > Delays can be overcome while slow is forever.
> You're right. So slow is even worse, but the wife thought > "developmentally delayed" was worse.
> I know it's fiction but I think that means the script writer though > thatt.
It's probably the fault of the actor[1] or director. Almost any line in a play is susceptible to a plausible misreading.
[1] Chosen over "actress," because you can't be too PC these days.
-- Bob Lieblich As is many a line in a Usenet post
>> In an episode of Law and Order from last winter, there is a boy who >> isn't normal mentally. The police in private call him retarded. >> His >> father calls him slow, and his mother says "Wake up, darling, he is >> *developmentally delayed*." She says this with scorn and passion, >> like it is so much worse than slow, Actually, it's almost the >> same >> as slow. How come she doesn't notice that?
>> It is the same or almost the same as retarded, and none are really >> accurate or complete in this case, because he's not merely delayed >> or >> progressing at a slow speed (slow, retarded), he's stopped.
>> Ahd the mother says "develpmentally delayed" like it's a mean >> vulgar >> phrase, when iiuc it is intended to be the nice phrase.
>> Amazing how people relate to words.
> I'm not familiar with Law and Order but is the mother sneering at > the > "political correctness" of "developmentally delayed"?
Oh, yes. She seems more than a bit sarcastic in her choice of words, considering the situation, and perhaps the child's problems have been much whispered about among her family and friends, which she has taken personally.
>> In an episode of Law and Order from last winter, there is a boy who >> isn't normal mentally. The police in private call him retarded. His >> father calls him slow, and his mother says "Wake up, darling, he is >> *developmentally delayed*." She says this with scorn and passion, >> like it is so much worse than slow, Actually, it's almost the same >> as slow. How come she doesn't notice that?
>> It is the same or almost the same as retarded, and none are really >> accurate or complete in this case, because he's not merely delayed or >> progressing at a slow speed (slow, retarded), he's stopped.
>> Ahd the mother says "develpmentally delayed" like it's a mean vulgar >> phrase, when iiuc it is intended to be the nice phrase.
>> Amazing how people relate to words.
>I'm not familiar with Law and Order but is the mother sneering at the >"political correctness" of "developmentally delayed"?
No. She was embracing the phrase, and wanting her husband to come to grips with reality, that his son wasn't just slow, but in the sternest of voices, developmentally delayed. Even though I agreed with Ray that slow might be worse, really, in practice, they're pretty much the same thing. Different people may use different words, but the people described by one of these are the same people described by the other, when different people are doing the describing. In fact her husband may well have felt that slow and D-D were the same thing. It depends on how slow he thought he was. (The kid had graduated high school iirc and had a job at a fast food place, mostly cleaning up.)
That's why the scene was so strange. She thought "slow" didn't capture the seriousness of the son's problem, when the literal meaning of developmentally delayed is so weak, it doesn't capture it either. It's only that she's stripped "d-d" of its niceness that she thinks its worse.
I don't know enough biology to know how often people who are slow, or retarded, or delayed continue to progress and catch up at least partially to those who develop at nomral speeds. I'm an optimist, sort of, so I can't help thinking that some do**. So I can'd call D-D a euphemism, if even some catch up, even partially. It's not a euphemism if it literally describes a situation; it's just the most hopeful choice of words (as is slow and retarded. Non-hopeful and harsh words are words like dummy, moron, idiot, and even retard, which afaik when used as a noun is never used hopefully or optimistically.)
**I don't know any retarded people who grew out of that, but I have the impression that some poor people who grew up without much education or a broad vocabulary, continue to increase their vocabulary even into their 60's*** so that their lack of education decades earlier can't be discerned. And that mistakes in grammar and syntax made well into their 20's or later can disappear as they hang around with people who don't make those mistakes. This should really be a separate thread, but I'm here now.
***Or older than 60's but I don't know anyone older.
She used D-D as if it were worse than being slow. Or maybe, as if d-d really described the situation, when in this case it was really inadequate, given that he was 25 or 30, probably was never going to catch up at all from whatever delay he had had, and had recently killed someone who got him angry because she said something he didn't like. (I think she called him some synonym for slow.) I didnt' want to get into the crime part, because in writing that part they probably have different goals from writing the part dealing with his slowness.
I guess my point is that the nicest phrases can be used harshly or insultingly, and, though I don't think it's shown here, the harshest phrases can probably be used warmly. (As in a very small number of nicknames) -- Posters should say where they live, and for which area they are asking questions. I have lived in Western Pa. 10 years Indianapolis 10 years Chicago 6 years Brooklyn, NY 12 years Baltimore 26 years
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